Guide to Headstone Inscriptions and Gravestone Wording

Choosing the Inscription

Selecting the right words for a headstone or memorial inscription is a deeply personal and significant task. This comprehensive guide will help you navigate the process of creating a meaningful tribute to your loved one, covering everything from selecting the perfect wording to understanding legal considerations and maintenance tips.

What to Write on Headstone Inscriptions

When deciding on a headstone inscription, it’s essential to reflect the deceased’s personality, achievements, and the impact they had on others. The words you choose will serve as a lasting tribute, so take your time to consider various options.

Basic Information: Start with the fundamental details:
- Full name of the deceased
- Date of birth
- Date of death
- Age at death (optional)
- Place of birth or death (if significant)
Relationship Descriptions: Consider including the person’s role in the family or community:
- Beloved husband/wife
- Devoted father/mother
- Cherished grandparent
- Loyal friend
- Dedicated sibling
- Treasured aunt/uncle
Personal Qualities: Highlight the deceased’s character traits:
- Kind and generous
- Courageous and inspiring
- Witty and charming
- Compassionate and empathetic
- Resilient and determined
- Humble and gracious
Achievements: Mention significant accomplishments or contributions:
- Dedicated teacher
- Talented musician
- Respected community leader
- Innovative entrepreneur
- Decorated veteran
- Groundbreaking scientist
Hobbies or Passions: Include references to activities they loved:
- Avid gardener
- Passionate traveller
- Lifelong learner
- Skilled craftsman
- Nature enthusiast
- Sports aficionado
Quotes or Sayings: Choose a meaningful quote that resonates with the deceased’s life or beliefs:
- From literature
- From religious texts
- Personal mantras or favourite sayings
- Song lyrics (with permission)
- Famous speeches
- Cultural proverbs
Epitaphs: Short phrases that sum up the person’s life or express emotions:
- “Forever in our hearts”
- “Gone but never forgotten”
- “Until we meet again”
- “A life well-lived”
- “Always loved, forever missed”
- “In loving memory”

Tone of Headstone Inscriptions

The tone of the inscription should reflect the personality of the deceased and the wishes of the family. Consider these options:

Formal: Suitable for traditional or conservative families. Example: “In loving memory of John Smith, esteemed father and respected businessman.”
Informal: Appropriate for those with a more relaxed approach to life. Example: “Here lies Tom, who lived life to the fullest and never met a stranger.”
Humorous: Can be fitting for someone known for their wit or jovial nature. Example: “I told you I was sick! – Beloved joker and friend, Sarah Jones.”

Poetic: Ideal for those who appreciated literature or had a romantic outlook. Example: “Like a river flows, her love endures – Emily Brown, cherished wife and mother.”
Inspirational: Perfect for individuals who motivated others. Example: “He showed us how to dream big and never give up – Michael Lee, visionary and mentor.”
Philosophical: Suitable for those who pondered life’s big questions. Example: “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die – David Green, thinker and friend.”
Professional: Appropriate for those whose career was a significant part of their identity. Example: “Dr. Jane Wilson – Healing hearts and saving lives for over 40 years.”

Examples of Headstone Wording

Here are some examples to inspire your inscription:

“A life well-lived, a heart well-loved”
“Her smile brightened every room”
“Beloved husband, father, and friend”
“An inspiration to all who knew him”
“She danced through life with grace and joy”
“His kindness knew no bounds”
“A teacher who touched countless lives”
“Forever young, forever loved”
“He left the world better than he found it”
“In God’s loving embrace”
“A gentle soul with a warrior’s spirit”
“She turned obstacles into opportunities”
“His laughter was contagious, his love unconditional”
“A pillar of strength for family and community”
“She saw beauty in everything and everyone”
“His legacy lives on in the hearts he touched”
“A life of service, a heart of gold”
“She lived with courage and died with grace”
“His music will play on in our memories”
“A true friend, a loving partner, a beautiful soul”

What Dates to Put on a Headstone

In Australia, the standard date format is DD/MM/YYYY. When including dates on a headstone, consider these options:

Full Dates: 15/04/1950 – 23/09/2023
Month and Year: April 1950 – September 2023
Years Only: 1950 – 2023
Age at Death: Aged 73 years
Lifespan: 73 years, 5 months, 8 days
Significant Dates: Include wedding anniversary or other important life events.

Choose the format that best fits your design and personal preference. Ensure consistency if you’re including multiple dates. Some families opt to include only the years to keep the design cleaner, while others prefer the full dates for historical accuracy.

Inscription Design

The design of your inscription plays a crucial role in its overall impact and longevity. Careful consideration of font, layout, and additional elements can create a visually appealing and meaningful tribute.

Styles of Headstone Inscription

Traditional: Classic fonts like Times New Roman or Serif are timeless choices that offer readability and a sense of formality. These fonts are often used for more conservative or religious inscriptions.
Modern: Clean, sans-serif fonts like Arial or Helvetica provide a contemporary look. These fonts are excellent for clarity and can work well with minimalist designs.
Handwritten: Cursive or script fonts add a personal touch, giving the impression of a handwritten note. These can be particularly poignant for intimate or emotional inscriptions.
Gothic: Ornate lettering for a more dramatic effect, often used in historical or traditional settings. While beautiful, ensure the text remains readable.
Art Deco: Stylised fonts for a vintage feel, perfect for those who appreciated this artistic movement or lived during its heyday.
Block Letters: Bold and easy to read from a distance, ideal for main text like names and dates.
Mixed Styles: Combining different font styles can create visual interest and hierarchy in the inscription.

Consider the readability of your chosen font, especially from a distance. Avoid overly decorative fonts that may be difficult to decipher. The size of the lettering is also crucial – ensure it’s large enough to be easily read but proportionate to the headstone size.

Layout Considerations

Alignment: Center, left, or right alignment can affect the overall look. Centered text is traditional, while left or right alignment can create a more modern feel.
Spacing: Proper spacing between letters, words, and lines ensures legibility and aesthetic appeal.
Hierarchy: Use different font sizes or styles to emphasize certain elements, like the name or a special quote.
Margins: Leave adequate space around the edges of the inscription for a balanced look.

Symbols, Images, and Photos on a Headstone

Incorporating visual elements can enhance the personalisation of the headstone:

Religious Symbols:
- Cross (Christian)
- Star of David (Jewish)
- Crescent and Star (Islamic)
- Om symbol (Hindu)
- Buddha figure (Buddhist)
- Wheel of Dharma (Buddhist/Hindu)
Nature Symbols:
- Trees (strength, growth)
- Flowers (specific meanings vary by type)
- Birds (freedom, spirit)
- Sun (warmth, new beginnings)
- Mountains (endurance, majesty)
Occupational Symbols:
- Tools (for trades)
- Musical instruments
- Books (for educators or writers)
- Caduceus (for medical professionals)
- Gavel (for legal professionals)
Hobby-related Images:
- Sports equipment
- Paintbrushes or palette
- Gardening tools
- Fishing rod
- Camera
Photographs:
- Etched photos
- Ceramic photo plaques
- Bronze photo plaques
Abstract Designs:
- Celtic knots
- Geometric patterns
- Waves or swirls

When incorporating symbols or images, consider:

The significance to the deceased and family
How well it complements the text
The material of the headstone and how well it can accommodate the design
Cemetery regulations regarding imagery

Ensure that any symbols or images complement the overall design and are appropriate for the cemetery’s regulations. Some cemeteries have strict rules about the types and sizes of images allowed.

Material Considerations

The material of the headstone can affect how the inscription looks and how long it lasts:

Granite: Durable and long-lasting, available in various colours. Ideal for detailed engravings.
Marble: Classic and elegant, but may weather over time, affecting the inscription.
Bronze: Offers a distinctive look and can include raised lettering.
Slate: Allows for fine detail but may be more prone to chipping.

Choose a material that not only looks appealing but will also preserve the inscription for years to come.

Religious vs. Non-Religious Inscriptions

The choice between religious and non-religious inscriptions depends on the beliefs of the deceased and their family. This decision can significantly influence the tone and content of the inscription.

Religious Inscriptions

Religious inscriptions often include:

Bible Verses:
- “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want” (Psalm 23:1)
- “I am the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25)
- “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8)
Prayers:
- “May the road rise up to meet you…” (Irish Blessing)
- “Eternal rest grant unto him/her, O Lord”
- “Allah’s Paradise be your eternal home”
References to Afterlife:
- “In God’s loving arms”
- “Resting in heavenly peace”
- “United with Christ”
Faith-based Phrases:
- “Faithful servant of Christ”
- “Devoted follower of Allah”
- “Lived by the Torah”
Religious Symbols: Often accompany the text to reinforce the faith aspect

When choosing religious inscriptions, consider:

The specific denomination or faith tradition of the deceased
Any favourite passages or prayers they had
The comfort these words might bring to grieving family and friends

Non-Religious Inscriptions

Non-religious options focus on:

Personal Qualities:
- “A heart of gold, a life well-lived”
- “Kind to all, loved by many”
- “Her strength inspired us all”
Memories:
- “Forever in our thoughts”
- “Cherished memories live on”
- “His laughter echoes in our hearts”
Nature Themes:
- “As free as the wind”
- “One with the earth and sky”
- “Her spirit soars with the eagles”
Philosophical Quotes:
- “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die” (Thomas Campbell)
- “The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living” (Cicero)
- “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose” (Helen Keller)
Celebration of Life:
- “A life lived to the fullest”
- “He danced as if no one was watching”
- “She left the world more beautiful than she found it”

When choosing non-religious inscriptions, consider:

The deceased’s personal philosophy or outlook on life
Their achievements and the impact they had on others
Words that capture their essence and bring comfort to loved ones

Balancing Religious and Non-Religious Elements

In some cases, families may choose to blend religious and non-religious elements:

Combining a religious symbol with a non-religious quote
Using a general spiritual reference without specific religious connotations
Including both a religious verse and a personal attribute

The key is to create an inscription that truly reflects the deceased and provides comfort to those who will visit the memorial.

Cost of Engraving a Headstone

The cost of engraving varies depending on several factors. Understanding these can help you budget appropriately for this important aspect of the memorial.

Factors Affecting Cost

Number of Characters: More text generally means higher cost. Most engravers charge per character or per line.
Font Complexity: Intricate fonts may be more expensive due to the skill and time required to execute them accurately.
Material: Some materials are harder to engrave than others. Granite, for example, is typically more expensive to engrave than softer stones.
Additional Design Elements: Symbols or images increase the price, especially if they are custom or intricate.
Location: Prices may vary by region and provider. Urban areas often have higher prices than rural locations.
Depth of Engraving: Deeper engravings last longer but cost more.
Colour Fill: Adding colour to the engraved areas for better visibility can increase the cost.
On-site vs. Workshop Engraving: On-site engraving may be more expensive due to travel and equipment transportation costs.

Average Costs

On average, expect to pay between $200 to $800 for a basic inscription. More elaborate designs can cost upwards of $1,000. Here’s a rough breakdown:

Basic name and dates: $200 – $400
Name, dates, and short phrase: $400 – $600
Longer inscription with simple design: $600 – $800
Complex design with images or symbols: $800 – $1,500+

Additional Costs to Consider

Headstone Purchase: If you haven’t already purchased the headstone, this will be an additional cost.
Installation Fees: Some providers charge separately for installing the engraved headstone.
Permit Fees: Some cemeteries require permits for new or modified headstones.
Future Modifications: If you plan to add dates or information later, factor in these potential costs.

Tips for Managing Costs

Compare Quotes: Get estimates from multiple providers to ensure you’re getting a fair price.
Consider Package Deals: Some memorial providers offer package deals including the headstone, engraving, and installation.
Plan Ahead: If possible, include all desired text in the initial engraving to avoid costly additions later.
Opt for Simplicity: A well-chosen, simple inscription can be just as meaningful as an elaborate one.
Explore Financing Options: Some providers offer payment plans for larger expenses.

Remember, while cost is an important factor, the quality of the engraving and its ability to withstand time should be primary considerations. A well-crafted inscription is an investment in preserving your loved one’s memory.

Inscription Maintenance

Proper maintenance ensures your loved one’s inscription remains legible and beautiful for years to come. Regular care can significantly extend the life of the engraving and preserve the overall appearance of the headstone.

Cleaning Tips

Regular Cleaning:
- Gently brush away debris with a soft-bristled brush
- Remove leaves, grass clippings, and other organic matter regularly
- Be cautious around delicate areas of the inscription
Water Cleaning:
- Use clean water and a soft cloth for routine cleaning
- Avoid high-pressure water systems which can damage the stone
- Clean in a circular motion, starting from the bottom and working up
Avoid Harsh Chemicals:
- Don’t use bleach, ammonia, or acidic cleaners
- Avoid household

Additional Cleaning Tips

Use the right cleaning products: Avoid harsh chemicals, bleach, ammonia, or acidic cleaners. Instead, use pH-neutral soap or specialized stone cleaners designed for headstones.
Start from the bottom: When cleaning, start from the bottom of the stone and work your way up. This helps minimize streaking if the cleaner runs down the surface.
Soak before cleaning: Before scrubbing, soak the headstone in water for several minutes. This helps soften any lichen, moss, or debris, making it easier to remove without scratching the surface.
Use gentle tools: Opt for soft-bristled brushes, plastic scrapers, or wooden picks. Avoid metal tools or abrasive materials that could scratch the stone.
Clean in circular motions: When scrubbing, use gentle circular motions to avoid streaks or damage.
Pay attention to engravings: Use a small grout brush or toothbrush to carefully clean inside engravings and hard-to-reach areas.
Rinse thoroughly: After cleaning, make sure to rinse the headstone thoroughly with clean water to remove any residue.
Consider the weather: The best time to clean a headstone is in mid-summer when it’s hot and there’s less rain, dew, and frost.
Test small areas first: Before cleaning the entire headstone, test your cleaning method on a small, inconspicuous area.
Keep the stone wet: As you work, keep the stone wet to prevent the cleaner from absorbing into the porous surface.
Be patient: It’s better to clean gently multiple times than to scrub too hard on the first attempt.
Avoid power tools: Don’t use power washers, sanders, or drills with wire brushes, as these can damage the stone.

Remember, when in doubt, it’s best to consult with a professional or seek advice from a memorial specialist, especially for older or more delicate headstones.